No Requiem
by KamiBara
Summary: Two girls and a Star Wars fan end up in Middle-Earth. Yes, it's been done but what the hell,um well about theSWfan... Hey I plan to parody Mary-Sues in the coming chapters I mind you!


Due to the overwhelming amount of Mary-Sue and/or original characters get transported to Middle-Earth fics. I decided out of sheer boredom, [and procrastination to start studying for finals] that I too would contribute to this growing trend. ::smiles broadly:: At least this one won't turn into a Legolas love fic. Hopefully… Now please sit and enjoy and sip a cup of Earl Grey. Oh and don't kill me I'm bored as hell and have to put in my input on this whole Mary-Sue/Time-Space Travel thing. So prepare for a bit of parody, some seriousness, and Boromir glomping! Ahem, some names have been changed to protect the innocent. 

No Requiem   
Prologue 

Starting as many stories do, it was a bright, sunny day in Central Jersey. Well take out the Central Jersey part. A brunette teenager dashed down the hallway of Our Lady of Grace High School. Dressed in stereotyped catholic schoolgirl attire, the brunette cursed as the late bell rang. 

"Damn it I'm late!" One thing you never do in a catholic school is curse while out of uniform. 

"Young lady, over here," yelled one of the Gestapo hall monitors (as my French teacher calls them), " Not only is your shirt untucked, but you are late for class, and I heard blasphemy down the hallway, and I'm certain in was you. Name." 

"Bloom. Catherine, Bloom. " 

"Period 1." 

"B-106." 

"Grade" 

"….9th.." 

"Freshman are we now. Saturday detention will suit you well." The hall monitor smiled to herself, as she wrote out a detention slip. " I better not catch you again, Miss Bloom." 

"Yes ma'am." Muttered a sulking Catherine. 

"Now off with you! Shoo!" Catherine walked down the hallway till the hall monitor was out of sight and ran upstairs to get to her next class. Slight problem. The door to her classroom was locked and she couldn't get in. And the teacher wouldn't let her in. As usual. Damn, she was screwed. Life wasn't treating her very nice. 

Checking the hallway, she took off down the stairs and out one of the back doors. Checking to make sure no one saw her, she ran up to the woods behind the school. Her only sacred place were these secluded woods. Supposedly there were several urban legends about the forest so many of the students stayed out. Well Catherine wasn't afraid, just curious. 

She decided that she would wait till a few minutes before class ended and sneak back in school. Her mother wouldn't care that she cut class. She never did. Catherine was your classic damsel in distress, and she hated labels. She loved to be alone in these woods. Looking around she got her bearings and headed for HER tree. She loved to climb that tree. It was relaxing. And she at least hadn't killed herself in the process of climbing it. 

There it was, her tree. She dropped her stuff next to the trunk noticing that someone else had also discarded his or her belongings. Looking up she saw a puff a smoke rising in the air. 

"You know smoking is bad for your health." Catherine shouted up at the tree. 

"You know, cutting class all the time is going to get you in to trouble." Came a voice. A red-headed girl peeked out from behind the trunk. Catherine walked around the trunk to face the girl. The red-head was smoking a pipe and was reading a book. "Finest pipe-weed in all of the East Farthing." She muttered. 

"God, you are way to obsessive with that book, Steff. We live in Jersey, dear. Not in Middle-Earth. Besides I highly doubt The Shire would have roadways like us." Catherine said putting her hands on her hips. "Besides why can't you smoke cigarettes like normal druggies do?" 

"Just because I smoke pipe-weed doesn't mean I'm a druggie or that I smoke cigarettes. Besides their bad for your health." Steff explained in a matter-of-fact tone. Catherine gave a highly noticeable sigh. "What did I do now?!" 

Catherine shrugged and started to climb the tree. "By the way, what are you smoking? Since pipe-weed doesn't exist." 

Steff just smiled. "I'd have to kill you if I told you." 

Catherine found a branch lower then Steff's and made herself comfortable. 

"You know if you two keep cutting classes your going to get kicked out." Said yet another voice from below the tree. Steff smiled and kept smoking her "pipe-weed". 

"Finally. I was wondering when they were going to miss us. So, dear, Han, who sent you today." Catherine called down. Steff started to cough.   
"Your name is Han? What the hell is that from?" She said after controlling her coughs but not before going into a ft of laughter. 

Han scowled. "Does it matter?" 

"That's right! You two don't know each other yet! Steff, this is Han one of my Religion 3 classmates, and also a family friend. Han this is Steff." Catherine explained. 

"Nothing to say about her?" Han inquired to Catherine. Steff smiled again broadly. "Not much to say about me. I love my pipe-weed and Boromir. And that's about it!" Explained the red-head. 

"Pipeweed, Boromir? Someone want to let me in?" Catherine laughed the confused look on his face was precious. 

Catherine summed up the obsession, "Lord of the Rings, Han." 

"I've heard of that. It's on one of the banners at TheForce.net. I think we joined forces with you ringfans in a mass-rpg battle against Potterheads." Pondered the Oh Great Han. 

"You took part in that too? Same here! What's your name? I'm Dinannunien Emeraldeye!" Steff and Han soon got into a great discussion on why JedHeads and Ringfans (A/N:" What are we called?") make better friends then Potterheads with their respective groups. 

Catherine laughed. She may have enjoyed Lord of the Rings and Star Wars but she wasn't obsessed. Unlike these two characters. At least Han forgot about telling them to get back to school. Catherine felt her eyes get heavy. It was only 1:00 in the afternoon. Why was she so tired? She could let her eyes rest for a few moments it wasn't like she was going to fall asleep. Right? She started to sway. The last thing she heard was Steff screaming and Han telling her to get down. Then all was black.   


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

"Are you alright?" said a voice? Catherine struggled to open up her eyes. And what a sight that awaited her. 

"Sean Bean? With pretty hair?" She sat herself up and looked around. She was surrounded not only by the Fellowship cast of the LoTR movie, which Steff had mass pictures of but also Steff, and Han. 

"Sean Bean? Who is this Sean Bean who you speak of?" said the man who was crouched over Catherine. 

"You're alright! We've been worried about you for hours. Nice time to take nap. Besides, this is BOROMIR. He is the eldest son of Lord Denethor of Gondor." Steff explained slowly, so Catherine would understand. Catherine nodded. Was she? Could she be? In Middle-Earth? She looked over to Steff who had the broadest grin on her face; next to her Han was fiddling around with his watch. 

"Why hello. Sorry. I thought you were someone else." She gave a weak smile and started to stand up but stumbled, Legolas who was standing behind her helped her not fall. "Um thank you." 

"Someone seems shy. Come on we have to talk." Said Steff grabbing Catherine's hand, while dragging her over to the campfire that had been built. "Can you believe it?" she said in a whisper, " Middle-Earth. I feel somewhat sorry for Age-I mean Elrond. We met him back at Rivendell. Oh there's so much to tell you! Well, Han, mistook Elrond for Hugo Weaving. It was so funny. You should have been there! Well, let see where to start." Steff looked around The Fellowship was dispersed and no one would be able to hear them. At least that's what Steff and Catherine thought. 

"Remember in The Two Towers that the Nazgul were able to fly around. Well back in the forest we saw one! Can you believe? In boring old Central Jersey! In England maybe but not in Jersey! So anyway, you looked like you were about to fall of the branch and Han was about to go help you but then, um. Everything went dark. I woke up in a gazebo in Rivendell, and Han was asleep on the steps of it. IN RIVENDELL! That's when we saw Elrond and Gandalf talking. Skipping forward, we didn't know what was going to happen to you. So we talked with Elrond and he said, Glorfindel, would take us out a few miles around Rivendell to look for you. " Steff explained in a fast tempo. 

Catherine looked dazed. "Uh, I don't see Glorfindel, anywhere." 

Steff scowled, "I haven't gotten to that part yet! Well, Elrond, told The Fellowship that since they weren't leaving yet that they could see this as a time to get to know everyone and also help us look for you! And we found you! The End." 

Catherine blinked. " I think you left out a lot of details but I don't care right now. I'm tired. Can I get a cheeseburger, and a milkshake?" 

Han had walked over to the girls during the conversation. "We are in Middle-Earth. Didn't Steff mention that? Once we get back to Rivendell. I'LL explain it. I'm sure Steff here left out many details." Steff glared at Han. 

Gandalf came over to the group. "Are we ready to get back to Rivendell, then?" He asked them. 

They all agreed, and after cleaning up the campfire they all headed back. Along the way Catherine was introduced to each of The Fellowship but hardly paid any attention she was too tired.   
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Okay That's it for the Prologue! Boring if I do say so myself. Next chapter will explain what happened to Steff and Han and feature more of The Fellowship. Much more! No way in hell are they going to be secondary characters. Review if you want. It would be nice. Besides next chapter will be very interesting and not so boring. BY the way blame the Han character on the fact I'm obsessed with LoTR and Star Wars at the same time!   



End file.
